22.02.12
Yalies, drop your faux-lokos. Rest your revelry. Put your pants back on. It’s time to get serious.
It is my senior year and I really want my giant classmates on the football team to muscle to a win at this sacred, sacred game of ours. And I think I know why we have fallen short in the past couple of years: we have too much fun.
Seriously. If I see even one Yalie holding a Solo cup this weekend, I am going to lose it. Pat Witt ’12 did not eschew his Rhodes interview for you to distract him with dubstep at 3 a.m.
Did you know that for every blue-and-gin-blooded Yalie stomping on a table at Toad’s or hooking up with a recently-divorced art history TA this weekend, there will be at least 200 Cantabs who’ve decided to go to bed after a quiet game of Yahtzee?* This is wartime. Do you want to succeed? Do you want to succeed? Wait, do you want to succeed? Then stop rofling around kegs at SAE and start acting like an adult. Tuck in your shirt.
Many of you, my fellow Yalies, will be hosting a handful of puritanical out-of-towners this weekend. In my experience, only a few of these guests will be prepared to leave your abode in search of intangibles like “a good time.” Some will prefer to stay in your room because they have never seen a furnished student dorm (seriously, why does no one at Harvard have an actual couch?), others will simply be tuckered out because their biological clocks tell them to sleep at 9:30. The handful who choose to brave the streets of New Haven will likely sneer at the flower lady, spill a drink at 202 York and be back in your room before the hour’s up.
Source: Yale Daily News
